Grrrrrrr.....

Someone's ANNOYING me and I can't say because I will hurt the person I love the most.

On Go Slow

Once again I didn't cook and I'm on a go slow as West Indians would term it. But, and I must stress this was not because I chose to be on a go slow, this was purely due to my mother insisting that she cook this weekend due to her having a house guest. So of course I was happy to take the break and not worry myself about what I should/shouldn't cook,

My mom's friend who is here for a week from the USA tasted my strawberry ice cream and proclaimed it to be very nice, this was prior to knowing that I had made it, a call for a second bowl was made and presto the last vestige of my ice-cream had finished. I wanted that to eat :(


To top it all off a request was made for more I-ce-cream and I succumbed, I made a fairly large amount and was even able to put some in a seperate bowl for my older brother and his wife. I fell prey to making more ice-cream partly because I wanted some myself and because from accross the oceans I was brought a huge stash of Butterfinger Chocolates. I love Butterfingers and it is one of the few things from my childhood that I still enjoy heartily. Wheneve anyone I know visits the USA, I always request only 1 thing from them; A Butterfinger chocolate bar. My mom's friend, brought me a box of 18 kingsize bars and 3 bags of minis, of course I had to share with my brothers, but I've still probably got enough to last until I go home to SVG, as my good friend Sabs also have a bag of minis fo me which I've yet to collect.

I've had a very long and trying week, and was quite depressed midway through. I've reached a stage where I'm sometimes very unhappy with my acheivements or even my plans for my future as I have so many plans but can't seem to move forwards with them. I had my twin lecturing me, my mother calling me in the middle of work to find out if I was ok, and my best friend JP asking me what's wrong and to all my response was: Nothing. Somehow I dragged myself out of the pit of darkness and was able to refocus, being thankful for what I did have and releasing my stresses through reading.

I'm sitting at home now, relaxing, reading a book called Gardens of Water by Alan Drew, which I'm enjoying immensely. I love when I'm able to read a book which allows me to discover/ understand even a small snippet of another culture. It's based in 1999 Turkey, and explores the hardship and struggles faced by a Turkish family having to overcome the disasters of an earthquake, a daughter that strives for independence, a fascination with an American boy and the love of her parents, and a father who has to contend with putting asside his pride for the greater good of his family, understanding his daughter, loving his son and satisfying his wife whilst providing for and making the right decisions for his family.

I'm so hooked on it that despite only starting it this afternoon I'm already midway through.... I can't wait to figue out how it ends. So saying I may need to make another trip to the library this week. Even though I love reading I dislike clutter and unless it's a book that absolutely moved me such as A House for Mr Biswas, The Godfather, or To Kill a Mockingbird, I see no other reasons to purchase books and keep them

I know a lot of you probably disagree with me here but...

I LOVE/ Hate ARSENAL

Exciting football, heart stopping moments. What is there not to love.

Oh My Gosh this Liverpool v Arsenal Match was a must see....WOW!!! A Bloody Draw but it was enjoyable... I'm vex now....... :(

It's great to purge...and Eight Things

Last night after my rant, I felt the need to text those around me whom I call friends and whose friendships mean the most to me... a simple text just thanking them for being in my life and for being who they are.. because as individuals and as a collective they each bring something very different but enriching to my life. We tend to overlook sometimes the powers of friendships and the warm feeling that a simple text, call or an email from a friend engenders.

I received a text last night from a very good friend, prior to her reading my rant and also prior to my own text, that friend was apologizing for not being there at times when I may have needed or wanted them.. and it warmed me to know that thought was given to their contribution to our friendship... but in all honesty not hearing from said person never bothers me simply because I have come to know them well and accept them wholly for who they are all shortcomings included. What matters to me is that on those most needy occasions they were there. When I need a sharp kick to wake me up I can expect to get it, at all times I can expect and know that the advice given would be sound and helpful.. so to that friend....... no worries I know that you will always be there when I really do need you.

.........................................................................................................................................................................

On another note I was tagged by the lovely Melissa @ Meme Love with an Eight Things so here goes:




8 Things I look forward to:

1. Getting home from work each day
2. Speaking to that person that makes my heart skip a beat and spending time with them.
3. Seeing my nieces and nephew and family and spending time with them.
4. My upcoming trip to SVG in August
5. Tennis Grand Slams
6. Reading a good John Grisham/ James Patterson
7. Finally being on the road and driving
8. Sleeping.


8 Things I did yesterday:

1. Woke up late and tired.
2. Went to work (late)
3. Ate a huge dinner that left me feeling like an overfilled water balloon.
4. Watched an episode of Desperate Housewives
5. Write on my blog and reminisced a bit.
6. Texted my friends a soppy message
7. Read a little bit of the book I've been reading over the last week.
8. Surfed the net until just after Midnight.


8 Things I wish I could do

1. Travel the whole world.
2. Speak fluent french.
3. Be in 2 places at the same time.
4. Buy all the clothes, shoes, bags, accessories that I want when I want it.
5. Buy back the Grenadine Islands that have been sold.
6. Live a care free relaxed life without worries.
7. Pursue my desire to learn different dances further.
8. Learn how to drive overnight.


8 Shows I watch

1. Desperate Housewives
2. CSI (New York, Miami, Vegas)
3. NCIS
4. Prison Break
5. Smallville
6. Brothers and Sisters
7. Dirty Sexy Money
8. Bones


8 Bloggers Tagged

1. Lioness
2. made in the eighties
3. Monica
4. Glamstar
5. TCG
6. Will
7. Ann's Friend
8. Rich


Enjoy your evening folks..

Missing Her!

This post is dedicated to the friend, sister, and confident long lost.

I miss her and from time to time I think about her, wondering what she's doing with her life, where she is, who she's with, whether or not she has changed or if that fun bubbly personality that I grew to love still exist. (I am talking about more than one person here).

I have to say that as of late my closest friends have been of the male species apart from a select few and my long standing and long suffering friend ALS. Though in all honesty I am finding that the older I get the less tolerance I have for others and particularly for stupidity. On that note... Have you ever had a friend or relative that switches on you for an extremely strange reason... one that you never fathom would end your friendship/ relationship.

I once had 3 really close friends (I guess the term to describe it as it was then would be BFFs) this was quite a while ago, back in the days of the second year of University. We were close or so I thought, spoke to each other all the time, discussed our fears, hopes, dreams, aspirations, how many kids we would have, and debated about how we would chose a 'Maid of Honor' at our prospective weddings when the time arises considering our supposed closeness... How NAIVE was I...

I guess putting 4 girls together of similar back grounds, strong headed and opinionated isn't always a good recipe for friendship because within 3 years of forming our so called bond it began to show crack at the seams... I made the mistake of going on holiday with 2 of them, at the height of a not too great patch in our friendship and promptly found myself seated separately on the out bound flight... luckily my best friends' dad was on the same flight and I was able to hang out with him at Gatwick until the flight was due. I immersed myself into the on board entertainment and slept for as much as possible, even crying silently to myself, my first holiday without another member of my family and I was already feeling homesick, wondering what possessed me into spending my money to going away even if that away was back to my country of birth.


Disembarking in Barbados, I decided that irrespective of the silent treatment I was receiving that I would be the bigger person and tried striking up a mundane conversation ( can you imagine not knowing what to say to someone you told your life to). Being that it was the Carnival season back in SVG there was as ususal problems with our flight and we were delayed until 21:00 that night... we somehow kept each others company and were able to overcome some of the awkwardness and started mending some of those patches. Getting off the plane in SVG, I was optimistic, maybe it would be a fun time after all, I was home; in SVG, I was going to be there for 6 weeks and despite the ridiculous start to it all I was determined to enjoy my holiday as I had family and other friends to hang out with.

For the first week or two we got along well enough, enjoyed the festivities in place and hung out as friends did, but I was always the one making the effort, going to meet them (as they were staying together) I was staying at my aunt's... but I didn't see this as a problem....I just accepted that I wasn't staying with them and therefor it's easier and more convenient for me to go where they were than for them to come where I was. It soon came time for my aunt and family to desert me for 3 weeks whilst they go off to New York and the plan was that I would spend the 3 weeks with my friends... I met up with one of my friends from primary school who lives in Vincy and went out with her on the Friday, with the intention of staying over at her house after, I was invited to attend a show, which her and her friends were hosting, I promptly called my other friends and invited them to join me and advised them that I would be spending the weekend with that friend but will see them on the Monday. I was met with a derogatory comment which alluded to me being a person of lose morals ( I was mad, I advised that if that was their opinion of me then they obviously didn't know me as well as they ought to). Honestly to my knowledge that was my last proper conversation with one of them in particular..apart from stating the obvious I'm not quite sure what changed, suffice to say I ended up spending my 3 weeks with my primary school friend and family as prior to moving to the UK... most of my childhood days were spent in their household and I was still very much comfortable there.

Though I made efforts to meet with my other friends, and to do things together these were not met and no invitations came my way. I soon stopped inviting or inquiring and got along with having fun...and boy did I have a blast... it was the worst and best holiday I could have asked for and I met a few people, 2 of whom are very much central in my current life and are more than worth the stresses of losing friendships.

Who knew that women could switch so easily... I certainly didn't... I miss them both at times... but that episode with them made me a better person.... I have learned not to give too many second chances.... once you've messed up with me it's more or less forever, life is too short to put up with BS and this has transferred to familial relationships as well.... maybe I'm being harsh but that famous saying of being once bitten twice shy stays within the heights of my conscience and being.

To those I currently call friends: Thank you for being who you are your friendships mean the world to me.

A little Taste of India...

I have overcome the laziness that has overshadowed me for the last couple of weeks. On Wednesday of this week I decided that I was going to cook chicken as I hadn't ate chicken on the last few Sundays due to not being home and of course over the Easter period meat is frowned upon, particularly on Good Friday.

Shopping was done on Friday evening, and I was only able to purchase the chicken as I was still unsure what the meal would be.. my mom settled it for me. Having had a quick scan through a book of chicken recipes she requested either Fruity Chicken Curry or Chicken Tikka Masala. I settled on the Chicken Tikka Masala...




Desert was an easier decision, I was getting slightly bored with chilled deserts and of cream, I wanted cake.... looking at the varying recipes left me salivating, should I make a traditional West Indian cake with lots of fruit, Black Wine and Rum.... or venture out and make one that I've never attempted....I chose to venture out and decided on a Carrot Cake... I love carrot cake but couldn't quite fathom making one: as my brother quite eloquently phrased it 'he can't just eat anyone's carrot cake as not everyone can make it the way it's meant to be made' and honestly even though I wanted to make it I felt the same... what if it doesn't taste like the ones I've had before... (Eeek).



I got up reasonably early for a Sunday, showered then dashed to the Supermarket to pick up some more ingredients for my cake and chicken, honey, hazelnuts, walnuts, bicarbonate of Soda, baking powder, garam masala and fresh corriander.... On another note I must add that the costs of ingredients seems to be depleting as I have to buy less each time on account of previous meals. Yay!!!

Returning home I ate some breakfast (if it can be called that at 12.30), then promptly immersed myself in the kitchen from that point thereafter until 17:30...can you believe it...5 hours standing on my feet slaving away in the kitchen.. the cake looked hideous when mixed...but looks and tastes very much like carrot cake should, moist, not too sweet and nutty. Like the cake the Tikka Masala also looked a bit iffy until finished... I guess it will take a bit of getting used to this cooking with yogurt and cream, it was tasty, very much similar in taste to the coconut and chilli pork but without the coconut... I really do believe that my favorite fresh herb is Corriander... I love the tatse and smell of it.

All in all dinner was good and it's good to be back and cooking... I am enjoying Indian/ Asian cuisine I believe, perhaps because like West Indian cuisine lots of spices and herbs are used in the preparation of meals.

Recipes to follow...

Thankful

Thankful!!!

On a daily basis we invite others into our lives

Whether temporarily or as a permanent fixture

With you I chose the latter.

Your smile always present, your wit as sharp as knives

On a daily basis we face conflicting issues

Some minor and insignificant others more somber

In all of these, I know I can count on you to be my pillar.

An attentive listener, your advice filled with virtue

On a daily basis we give thanks,

But, rarely for that which does actually matter.

And so, let me say in being frank

That I thank God frequently in my daily prayers,

For friends like you and others.

© 2008 by DDS, All rights reserved; Thankful

To Suhaylah

Strawberry Ice-Cream

This weekend I didn't really cook again, we resorted to West Indian. I am lazy as of late and can't quite muster up the energy to cook. It seriously takes a lot out of you, more than you can imagine. How do mothers do this everyday, I mean seriously! But I promise I'll be back soon, next week.

The only thing I attempted this week was Strawberry Ice-cream and damn was I stressed by the end of it. It started like any other, me shopping for my ingredients coming home all eager and raving to go wanting to get on with things and produce my master piece. Sounds like a walk in the park until things started going pear shaped.

I separated my eggs, the yolks were placed in a bowl with the caster sugar and stirred until light in color, the milk was on the burner being heated, and as per the recipe the warm milk was added to the egg yolk mixture, then poured back into the pan... now here's where it got tricky.. I am supposed to stir until thick and the mixture coats the back of a spoon... but ensuring that it does not boil.. and this was fine with me, after all I've done it twice before when I made coconut and then vanilla ice-cream... but not this time I'm stirring and stirring trying to regulate the heat... what happens...... the egg started scrambling.. ARGH!!!

Well obviously I couldn't now use this, I had to pour it down my sink... I know a waste of food but it wasn't intention. I got some more eggs and proceeded to make my custard again... it started well... I proceeded to stir, patiently waiting for it to thicken, but thicken it would not, I stood there for 30 minutes stirring, swearing, getting tired but nothing, then a brain wave perhaps there's too much liquid and not enough yolk, so I added another egg yolk and continued stirring, wonders it startet to work... until it started to scramble again slightly........arrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhh not again.. I felt like crying. I had no more eggs in the house after using 10 and the milk was near finish... brainwave, as it's only at the bottom of the pan... how about straining it... this I did... or tried doing, the strainer fell in twice and I had to strain and restrain... presto a result... it finally looked like it should without any lumps of clumps... relief.

I am not a patient person and throughout this process I was absolutely annoyed with my entire family.. my twin came and attempted to hug me and was nearly pushed straight accross the room... Don't touch me... just leave me alone... I don't like giving up and perseverance paid off, my ice-cream tastes great..... my mom can't get enough of it and it was worth the headache.

Beginning to rue the day I came up with the idea to start cooking...what the heck was I thinking.

I am What I am

This Poem was inspired by one of my best Friend's ALS's blog Theories of Anything, she has dedicated this month to the topic of Identity and is inviting guest Bloggers to post their opinions about their Identity to her... it is a brilliant idea which led me to ponder about myself..Who am I???

My Identity - I am What I am!

When asked who I be

A swirl of answers I identify

I am a Daughter

A sister,

A lover,

An aunt, a grand-daughter.

If anyone inquires about my identity;

A multitude of responses I see

I am an African,

A European,

An Arawak,

A Carib, a Garifuna.

When asked who I am

Only a few responses are truly me

I am a product of man

A quintessential human

A mixture of many nations

I am simply a West Indian

Copyrighted© 2009 By DDS All rights reserved; I am What I am.

Relativity….

In the furthest depths of my minds’ abyss

Alas, I fear something has gone amiss

An incarnation of conflicting emotions

Inflamed with a disturbing guilt.

A mind that highlights every possible fault,

A conscience that does not allow one to disregard.

An essence of differing reactions

Despair at the finality of and manner.

Elated that the defiance was there to take action.

Forgetting is out of the question, erudition the only solution

Time elapses and thoughts cycle

Allowing consciousness to descend

Our imperfections are what make us human

Having scruples and using it, is far from inhumane.

In the furthest depths of my minds’ abyss

I rejoice, here now lays total bliss.

Copyrighted©2008 By DDS

I'm Sick Sick Sick

Since Tuesday of this week I have been fighting the onslaughts of the flu... it started on Sunday night with my throat feeling extremely odd, not hurting but slightly blocked where I felt the need to clear it every 30 seconds and drank water all day Monday in hopes that whatever is assailing me will disappear... Tuesday saw me at work feeling slightly worse for the wear but I soldiered on and worked through it. Though by the time I got off the train and had to walk the 5 minutes to my house I felt like I was ready to collapse. I crawled home... well not literally of course but I was close.. when I got in I was greeted with the comment "Christ you're slow... you know how long I see you turned the corner". It obviously took me quite a while to get into the house if that was noted.

I exchanged my work garments for 2 jumpers,,yes I did say 2, I was freezing, pajama bottoms, a thick pair of socks and to cap it off a blanket. I plunked myself onto my sofa, pulled my baby close and snuggled in. Somehow I ended up being awake until 1:00pm that night researching something for a future blog post and searching for a dress to wear to my friend's wedding.

By 11:30 however, my throat was killing me and I couldn't swallow without thinking that at any point soon my life was going to end. I got up and made myself a cup of strong black coffee with sugar and lemon juice... as gross as this may sound it works wonders for a soar throat, it worked but only for about 20 minutes, I braced myself for round two and made another cup, ahhhhhhhh bliss my soar throat went away and all my layers seem to have staved off the fever... I woke up feeling like my old self and felt like I had finally knocked the flu for a six for once... but alas it was not to be... this evening I find myself with a headache, feeling feverish once more and worse of all I am getting a terrible cold and cannot stop sneezing.

Luckily for my family I'm not cooking this weekend otherwise they would probably get a bit more than they bargained for. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

Night all...